


My Feelings Are Too Loud For Words and Too Shy For The World

by canyousonicmedoctor



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-28
Updated: 2013-06-28
Packaged: 2017-12-16 09:51:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/860776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/canyousonicmedoctor/pseuds/canyousonicmedoctor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Weeks ago, Delphine probably would have pulled Cosima down to her and kissed her like she would die if she waited a second longer to do so. Now she’s so unsure as to where she stands, having only shared small touches and wistful smiles since the night she flew to see Cosima and the devastating news was revealed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Feelings Are Too Loud For Words and Too Shy For The World

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [My Feelings Are Too Loud For Words and Too Shy For The World](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9470369) by [allzlovers](https://archiveofourown.org/users/allzlovers/pseuds/allzlovers)



Delphine is four weeks into her research. She is so determined to find a cure for Cosima it is hard for her to focus on anything else. She takes breaks for food and- occasionally- sleep but only when the brunette urges her to do so.

With the stress of finding a way to make Cosima better, she hasn’t been able to spare thought for anything else. That includes putting effort into patching up her tentative almost relationship with Cosima. It is hard when every few hours she looks across her new Toronto flat and sees her doubled over with hacking coughs, rushing off to the bathroom to clean herself of the blood that has no doubt gathered on her palm.

Every time that happens it impresses upon Delphine the importance of making Cosima better and she continues to throw herself into the work, no matter the cost to herself.

“Merde!” Delphine shouts as she hits a dead end once again. She’s running out of options, her limited resources causing more harm than good. She pushes her head into her hands and closes her eyes tightly, trying to will her growing headache away.

She jumps as she feels soft hands kneading the tender flesh around her neck. She turns to see Cosima standing behind her with the most adorable look of concentration on her face as she assigns all her focus on her task. Weeks ago, Delphine probably would have pulled Cosima down to her and kissed her like she would die if she waited a second longer to do so. Now she’s so unsure as to where she stands, having only shared small touches and wistful smiles since the night she flew to see Cosima and the devastating news was revealed.

Despite that, Delphine is not going to question the developments taking place as Cosima tries to soothe her tensions. She leans into the brunette, her head pillowed on her chest. A soft groan escapes her lips as the knots in her shoulders begin to disappear under Cosima’s wonderful hands.

“You need to take a break,” Cosima urges, her hands leaving Delphine’s neck in favor of knealing down beside her chair. She sighs and reaches down to brush a dread off of Cosima’s shoulder.

“I can’t,” Delphine sighs, shaking her head vehemently. “I know I can figure this out,” she promises as she turns her body back to the computer screen.

“I know you can and I know you will,” Cosima replies. Delphine’s breath catches in her throat as the words expand in her ears. They are the most promising things that she had heard come out of Cosima’s mouth since she came back. “But you won’t be any good if you run yourself into the ground.”

Delphine furrows her brow, unfamiliar with the expression. Still, she thinks she understands the generally meaning of it and knows that Cosima is right. “I can’t waste time,” she argues. “I can’t waste time when I know you are hurting. While you’re dying,” she stresses, already tapping away at the keyboard once again.

“I never said we would be wasting the time,” Cosima replies, biting her lip in the way that she knew made Delphine crazy. She turns back to Cosima, unsure as to what the woman is implying.

She’s not left wondering for long because the moment Delphine is fully facing Cosima again, the brunette leans in and brushes her lips gently over her own. She freezes for a second hoping beyond hope that Cosima means what she is thinking. She will gladly spend time away from her research if it means that she will be able to be with Cosima once more. Every touch that they have shared over the couple weeks has set her skin tingling and wanting more even as she pushed those feelings into the back of her mind.

Delphine doesn’t wait for any other confirmation and presses her lips forcefully against Cosima’s. The weeks she has spent fighting against the urge to simply taste Cosima again has left her starving for it.

“Please, ma cherie,” Delphine whispers against Cosima’s lips. The brunette knows what she means even if it’s hard for her to get the words out through the haze of lust and- at least on her part- love that is clouding all other thoughts.

Cosima pulls her into a standing position without breaking their kiss and Delphine goes willingly. She’s liquid underneath Cosima’s touch and her lover is the only thing keeping her from simply washing away to blissful nothingness.

Delphine loses all sense of time as they make their way towards the bed in the middle of the flat. She feels her knees hit the edge of the bed and topples over with Cosima landing on top of her. She pauses for a moment, looking up and brushing dredlocks away from Cosima’s face before cupping it in her hands. She hadn’t let herself hope that this would happen again. Now that she knows she has this once more there’s no way she is going to mess this up.

“I love you, Cosima,” she breathes into the girl’s shoulder. It might be a bit early to say it but there’s not a chance she would be able to hold those words in after weeks of knowing their truth. Besides, she basically told Cosima the day everything fell apart. And it wasn’t a lie.

Cosima looks weary once again, a face that Delphine would like nothing more than to wipe of that mistrusting expression. Cosima must see something in her face or eyes or something equally cliche because it’s gone almost as soon as it finds it’s way there. “I love you too, Delphine,” she smiles that breathtaking grin that had endeared her to her subject from the moment they exchanged pleasantries.

There aren’t many words after that. They proceed to show each other just how true those words really are and what they mean to each other.

* * *

 

Sometime later, when they are both curled up on Delphine’s bed with considerably less clothing than they started out with, Cosima speaks up again.

“You ever notice how you pretty much only speak in French when we’re having sex?” The brunette asks with a smirk.

“Non,” Delphine admits as she rolls over to face Cosima. “But you have, you cheeky girl,” she laughs and nuzzles her face into the crook of Cosima’s neck.

“Teach me some.”

Delphine stays in her curled up position for a moment longer, trying to think of a phrase to teach her. “Je t’aime,” she starts with. It’s a simple enough little sentence. “It means ‘I love you’,” she grins. “Now you say it.”

“Je t’aime,” Cosima repeats, trying to mimic her accent. It’s not the best but the French accent is also hard to copy. “Something else,” she demands like the eager student she is.

“Je suis mange pour Eskimo Pies,” Delphine laughs, wondering if Cosima will be able to figure out what she is saying through context.

“You want Eskimo Pies?” she asks, her grin growing wider. “I told you that you would crave them.”

“Close, ma cherie, but not quite. I said ‘I am hungry for Eskimo Pies’,” she explains. “You try it now,” she instructs.

Once again Cosima tries to imitate her and does a fairly good job for a girl that grew up with an American accent.

For a little while they go back and forth like this, Delphine saying a phrase and explaining it while Cosima repeats it. It’s fun for both of them, even if Delphine feels like she is speaking like a snail in order to get Cosima to understand.

“One more, please?” Cosima begs after Delphine tells her she will not even remember how to say half of what she’s learned in a few days.

“Fine,” Delphine aquiesses. She bites her lip thoughtfully, trying to think of something good to teach her. “Vous serez ma petite amie?” she askes, her voice dropped down to a whisper.

“Vous serez ma petite amie,” Cosima repeats without quite the same inflection but the message is still there.

“Oui,” Delphine smirks looking more than a bit pleased with herself.

“Wait, Delphine, what did I say?” Cosima inquires curiously.

“You just asked me to be your girlfriend,” Delphine grins. “And I said yes.” She kisses Cosima softly, not giving her time to argue.

“And you call me cheeky,” Cosima laughs, shoving gently at Delphine’s shoulder.

“But you love it.”

“Oui.

**Author's Note:**

> First Cophine fic *cheers* Hope you enjoyed it and if you have anything to say, it would be awesome for you to leave a comment below :)


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